This is either the best or worst thing I’ve ever written.

Kermit the Frog

Organises rehearsals. Promotes the shows online. There is literally nothing else on their socials but improv adverts. Likes to host but rarely shows up in scenes.

Organises rehearsals. Promotes the shows online. There is literally nothing else on their socials but improv adverts. Likes to host but rarely shows up in scenes.

Miss Piggy

Powerhouse performer. Very into the small amount of fame that improv brings them. Falls in love with someone on every team they’re in. Either loves you or doesn’t know you exist.

Powerhouse performer. Very into the small amount of fame that improv brings them. Falls in love with someone on every team they’re in. Either loves you or doesn’t know you exist.

Dr Teeth

Musical genius. Has studied for 40 years to be as good as they are and now has to make performers who have been doing improv for 6 months look good.

Musical genius. Has studied for 40 years to be as good as they are and now has to make performers who have been doing improv for 6 months look good.

Pepe the King Prawn

Edgy stand-up who thinks they’ll be good at improv automatically. Will say or do anything on stage to get a laugh and will get very defensive about it too. “Comedy shouldn’t have limits.”

Edgy stand-up who thinks they’ll be good at improv automatically. Will say or do anything on stage to get a laugh and will get very defensive about it too. “Comedy shouldn’t have limits.”

Sam the Bald Eagle

Likes to do monologues. Has probably been around the scene for a while. Opinionated. Believes they should be more famous than they are by now.

Likes to do monologues. Has probably been around the scene for a while. Opinionated. Believes they should be more famous than they are by now.

Swedish Chef

Loves gibberish scenes. Just really adores them. Thinks gibberish is the high water mark of all improv. Rarely does a scene that isn’t in a silly voice. Great cook.

Loves gibberish scenes. Just really adores them. Thinks gibberish is the high water mark of all improv. Rarely does a scene that isn’t in a silly voice. Great cook.

Animal

Never listens. Never has any idea what is going on. Jumps into scenes with big emotions and big energy. Impossible to be on a team with but the audience loves them.

Never listens. Never has any idea what is going on. Jumps into scenes with big emotions and big energy. Impossible to be on a team with but the audience loves them.

Fozzie Bear

Thinks improv is just about the jokes. Will sell out the narrative to make a pun. Liability in shows but loves improv so much that people don’t have the heart to drop them from the team.

Thinks improv is just about the jokes. Will sell out the narrative to make a pun. Liability in shows but loves improv so much that people don’t have the heart to drop them from the team.

Gonzo the Great

A “character”. Always themselves on stage. But they are so weird and interesting that they still get stage time. Has never formally studied improv. Questionable dating practices.

A “character”. Always themselves on stage. But they are so weird and interesting that they still get stage time. Has never formally studied improv. Questionable dating practices.

Beaker

Loveable dork. Knows everything about improv. Limited social skills but has very much found their community in improv. Can be funny intentionally and completely unintentionally.

Loveable dork. Knows everything about improv. Limited social skills but has very much found their community in improv. Can be funny intentionally and completely unintentionally.

Janice

Ultra cool. Incredible musical performer. Never gets the attention that their talent deserves. Nurturing. Doesn’t seem to realise how good they are. Will leave improv within a year.

Ultra cool. Incredible musical performer. Never gets the attention that their talent deserves. Nurturing. Doesn’t seem to realise how good they are. Will leave improv within a year.

Statler and Waldorf

Improv audience.

Improv audience.

<aside> 💡 Hey, my name’s Chris Mead. I write an article about improv almost every week. You can get the latest in your inbox by subscribing to my newsletter. Or check out the archive.

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